Forget Britney, Save Sanjaya from New York!

If you visit VH1's 'I Love New York' reality dating show website (where we found the lovely photo to the left) you will see Sanjaya as a contestant. "He" is vying for one of five voter selected contestant slots who will appear on the second season.

For the uninitiated, Tiffany 'New York' Pollard (no relation to Richard Tiffany Gere) is bombastic, ghetto in stilettos. New York's show is her attempt to find love after being rejected twice by Flavor Flav. She was such a hit, VH1 gave her a show.

In the 'I Love New York' season finale, New York picked Patrick 'Tango' Hunter to be her man. He responded by asking for her hand in marriage. She accepted, but he kicked her to the curb on the reunion show, because he found out that she broke bad on his moms.

Imagine what she'd do to Momjaya.

What would Sanjaya do in a house with thugs, ugly pretty boys, and cretins?

New York once had the contestants box one another. 'Mr. Boston', the resident punk-ass, got his nose broken by 'Chance', a street tough...who loves horses so much he named his rap group 'Stallionaires' .

The question remains, is it really Sanjaya? The video looks authentic. So does the quote. TMZ weighs in on it, but is uncertain.

The only problem with believing it's the real Sanjaya?

The casting call for the show requires applicants to be 21+.

His age on the website: 21.

The real Sanjaya is 17.

Is this an attempt by VH1 to lure Sanjaya faithful to a new season of celebreality or, as queerty suggests, folks can't tell Indians apart? Or is Sanjaya committing the equivalent of underage drinking? Maybe VH1 made a 'Sanjaya age exemption'?

I guess we'll find out.

One could dream, though. And if we can't dream? Why bother living?
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Do you think it's the real Sanjaya? How do you think he'll do on the show?

Keep Sanjaya Away From Hookahs!

TMZ reports that the National Enquirer acquired a photo showing Momjaya with a hookah and lighter.

The question is, what was she smoking?
Before you get in Sanjaya Weed Watch high alert mode, let's take a step back.

For the uninitiated, a hookah is a multi-stemmed, often glass-based water pipe device for smoking. Alice in Wonderland featured a hookah smoker.

Hookahs, when legally used, can be filled with fruit-flavored tobacco.

Hookahs, when illegally used, can be filled with hashish or opium.

It is estimated that hookahs are legally used daily, for hours on end, by over a hundred million men and women, in Asia, Europe and Africa, at the local coffee shop or at home.

Before you rush out and pick up a bong, USA Today reported that not everything is rosy about hookahs:

• A hookah, which is smoked for about 45 minutes, delivers 36 times more tar than a cigarette, 15 times more carbon monoxide and 70% more nicotine.

• In a June 2004 study, Jane Henley, an epidemiologist at the American Cancer Society, found that men who smoked water pipes had five times the risk of lung cancer as non-smokers.

The most damning thing about hookah smoking?

A study in the Journal of Periodontology found that water pipes smokers were five times more likely than non-smokers to show signs of gum disease.

The last thing we need is a toothless Sanjaya!

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What do you think is in the hookah Momjaya is smoking?

Cutting Alec Baldwin Some Slack

Last week, I got all preachy about Alec Baldwin calling his daughter a "thoughtless little pig". After reading Kiros' comment, I took a long, soulful look back to my youth.

At 11 or 12, whatever the age is, as Mr. Baldwin put it, you do some pretty thick headed things. I sure as hell did when I was that age and got called names much worse than "thoughtless little pig" in addition to getting whipped.

Before you get all ridiculous, realize that although Alec Baldwin lost his cool, he isn't that bad when you put things in context.

How bad, you ask?

Here's a list of Celebrity Parental Behavior more notorious than Alec Baldwin's:

Scary Spice naming her kid after Eddie Murphy...if the vasectomy rumor is true/Eddie Murphy...if the baby is his. See Dr. J.

Michael Jackson's parenting skills. Start saving for the therapy now.

Gary Coleman's parents pimped him out and took his money.

Joan Crawford beat her kid with wire hangers.

Joe Simpson's ranting about Jessica Simpson's Double D's and other...behavior around his daughters.

Britney Spears' car seat fiasco and pantyless antics. However, Britney didn't learn her bad parenting through Paris Hilton. She was influenced by the original 'clubbing while kids are home' kingpin.

Doctor Doom adopted a kid named Kristoff, who suggested that he team up with another supervillan. Doom's response? Choking the hell out of Kristoff! We're not going to comment on the crazy things Kristoff must've seen around Daddy Doom...

Darth Vader chopped off the hand of his son, Luke Skywalker.

Aerosmith's Steven Tyler getting "custody":

The 27 year front mans eye was caught by a 14 year old girl named Diana Hall. The pair fell in love and Tyler moved her into her Boston apartment so that they could be together- but only after Halls parents signed her over to Tyler as her guardian.

And the worst?

In the American Idol prelim round, Momjaya brazenly stating on national television that her daughter is better than Sanjaya. Clearly he is superior performer.

He is, after all, Sanjaya.

So what possibly did she mean? That he doesn't smoke enough weed? Another note for the weed watch:

See? Alec isn't that bad after all, is he?

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Were we too harsh on Alec Baldwin? What bad celebrity parenting did we miss?

Sanjaya Weed Watch

Defamer analyzes Sanjaya's claim that he isn't gay in a People article.

The reason why he's so fey?

He UNDERSTANDS women:

Malakar, whose parents divorced when he was 3, says his ease with women comes from being close to his mom and his sister, Shyamali, who were his biggest influence growing up in Seattle.

The casual observer might find that sweet and endearing.

But it isn't.

TMZ notes that the National Enquirer uncovered a Pierce County, Washington police report finding 310 marijuana plants in the Malakar family garage. They have the mug shot of Momjaya and the charging doc up.

His sister Shymali allegedly kept watch with a bag of weed and drug paraphernalia.

Why should we worry?

Sanjaya is still a teenager, and according to Focus Adolescent Services, teenagers at risk for developing serious alcohol and drug problems include those who have a family history of substance abuse, who are depressed, have low self-esteem, and who feel like they don't fit in or are out of the mainstream.

Given the family's alleged drug love, Sanjaya's not fitting in/being mainstream, and having a bad time last week, Desissified is starting an official "SANJAYA WEED WATCH" to make sure he doesn't fall victim to the vice that plagued his two biggest inspirations.

I'm sure someone is on a Sanjaya watch for another faux pas committed by his sister:


Fortunately, I ain't gonna be on it. Someone else can take up SANJAYA NEKKID GUITAR PLAYIN' WATCH.
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Do you think Sanjaya is an "at risk teen"? What are you willing to do to help in the Weed Watch?