Akon Update: Give Me The Boy

Life continues to imitate OZ.

The Poughkeepsie Journal reports that Fishkill police, like OZ favorite Vern Schillinger, want someone to "bring them the boy" that Akon Gorilla Slammed at Sunday's WSPK sponsored KFEST.

Unlike Vern, who wanted to be brought boys to bugger, Fishkill cops want to question the kid to get his side of the story.

Apparently, two cops were present during the incident and didn't do anything...probably other than laughing their asses off.

Strangely enough, this occurred regularly in OZ as well. Stuff would happen around guards who weren't paid enough to bother. Hell, the cops at KFEST might've figured that if they did something, they'd have to leave the show and miss Akon's set. For all we know, Akon was the reason they went. And you can't get mad at them for that. It's not everyday you get to see Akon perform, much less slam a kid off a stage.

According to the article, WSPK General Manager Jason Finkelberg thinks people are overreacting to cool cat Akon:

“I don't think he intended malice on this guy. I think it was in the spirit of the show...He had another kid on stage dancing,” Finkelberg said. “He was taking pictures with kids in wheelchairs.”

Whether Akon was responsible for putting the kids in wheelchairs has yet to be determined.

Adebisi LIVES...in Akon

My brother called me last year and was tripping:

"Adebisi is a singer!"

For the uninitiated, Simon Adebisi was hands down, the BADDEST dude on tv...EVER. On the HBO series OZ, Adebisi decapitated dudes, turned hetero guys into his personal sex slaves, turned the prison into his personal paradise, and had the nerve to videotape all his exploits.

I knew he meant the ACTOR who portrayed Adebisi, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje. And although he was in Mary J. Blige's "Love No Limit", he was too busy being Mr. Eko on "Lost" to have a professional singing career.

After talking to my bro for awhile, I found out he confused Adewale for Akon. I can see how one could confuse Akon and Adewale in passing. Anyhoo, after doing a little research, I found out, like everybody else, that Akon had a criminal record, like Adebisi. Like Adebisi, he sold drugs. Little did I know that Akon would "handle" things much like Adebisi would.

He conned a girl on stage in Trinidad with promises of a trip to Africa. What did she get? A dry humping. Akon was conned himself: He thought security didn't let anyone under 18 in the club. She was 14. . Verizon didn't care. They dropped their sponsorship of his tour.

Months later, during a concert in Fishkill, Akon was opening his heart about how hard it was to adjust to living in the U.S. Akon shared his feelings of alienation as an African in America. What did he get in return? Some punk ass kid who threw a piece of plastic square in Akon's face.

Akon's response? He had security bring the kid to him. When the kid was brought on stage, Akon picked the kid up and tossed the kid off the stage with an Ultimate Warrior Gorilla-Press Slam.

You can see it for yourself here.





On OZ, Adebisi's character was killed off, so Adewale could film that great masterpiece "The Mummy Returns". Adebisi's "murderer" on the show, pacifist Kareem Said, claimed to be possessed by the spirit of Adebisi. After engaging in a number of uncharacteristic actions, Said proclaimed:

"Adebisi lives!"

Years after OZ was canceled, I knew Adebisi would resurface. Little did I know it would be in the form of an R&B crooner with cheesy ass songs.

Eh, I'll take whatever Adebisi I can get.

Kareem Said was right:

ADEBISI LIVES!!!