Captain America's Replacement REVEALED

When Captain America died, rumors of his replacement ran rampant.

Some people thought it would be The Punisher.

Old Punisher...


Captain Americafied Punisher...

But they're wrong.

Others thought it would be Cap's former sidekick Bucky Barnes.

Here's the original recipe Bucky alongside Cap:

And this is the extra crispy Bucky in his new persona, The Winter Soldier:

But they're wrong, too.

Captain America's replacement has surfaced. And he don't need no stinkin' new costume...

Colin Powell, where the heck have you been?

We found out that you've been conversating with Barak Obama and now you tell Newsweek you want people to back off Angelina Jolie:

"She's absolutely serious, absolutely informed...She doesn't need this. This needed her."

Just like the way kids around the world need Angelina Jolie to come in their country and adopt the hell out of them, America...no...THE WORLD needs Colin Powell to come back into the spotlight and pick up good ol' Cap's mantle.

And for that, I salute him.

Colin Powell, your shield awaits. You just have to wrest it from the sinister clutches of Stephen Colbert...