Isaiah Washington Is Mad As Hell, But What Is He Gonna Do About It?

It finally happened.

People reports that Isaiah Washington is gone from Grey's Anatomy.

I was ecstatic until I read this:

Howard Bragman, Washington's publicist, says Washington's option was not renewed, and released this statement from the actor: "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more."

I initially felt fear for gays worldwide. I mean, isn't it bad enough that he went crazy on set and at the Golden Globes? If that wasn't "mad as hell", I don't know what is. I thought he calmed down by filming a PSA.

Then, I realized that the quote is from the movie Network, where news anchor Howard Beale responds to his firing by threatening to blow his brains out on national television. He later changes his mind, but engages in a rant which gets him a new show with stellar ratings. At the end of Network, television execs hire a group of terrorists from a rival show to execute Beale.

What is Isaiah Washington planning to do and why would he quote Network? Is he going to blow his brains out on national television or just engage in another hate filled rant?

Then I had my conspiracy cap on:

Imagine if ABC felt the need to "Network" Isaiah? Which ABC actor would they send to whack him? And, which actor would be desperate enough to accept the job? Who has a need to resuscitate their stalled career by showing allegiance to a network who can offer them a return to their 15 minutes of fame.

One ABC show came to mind:

LOST.

And one actor is ripe for the job to take out Isaiah if he gets too crazy...

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What do you think is Isaiah's next step? And if he gets too crazy (as if he isn't crazy enough), which "star" will they send out to ice him?

Paris Hilton's Master Prison Plan

Feel sorry or smug that Paris Hilton was sentenced to 45 days in jail?

Don't be.

It's all a part of an intricate plan to put her back on the media map.

Let's look at the facts:

Paris violated at least three terms of her probation.

And what did she do to violate the terms?

She decided not to enroll in an alcohol education course. She chose to drive a brand new Bentley at 70 MPH in a 35 MPH zone WITHOUT HEADLIGHTS and valid drivers license. To top things off, Paris was late for court.

You'd think this was a product of blondness, but I say thee NAY!

It was a calculated attempt.

Think about it.

Paris Hilton failed as an actress.
Paris Hilton failed as a singer.

What did she have success with?

Reality Television and Porn.

That's why Desissified theorizes three reasons for her jail time:

First reason: A Career As A Gangsta Rapper.

As a singer, she had the best producers money could buy. But she had no credibility. With a stint in jail, she'll be keeping it real by rapping. You laugh, but have you spent time in the slammer for spitting in the face of authority?

What? You haven't?

Paris Hilton has.

And as far as street cred?

Paris Hilton > You

Second reason: Reviving Her Reality Television Career.

'The Simple Life' was a ratings sensation. Now it's on E. With a prison bid, she can do a reality series prepping for prison. Then she can do a show in jail, with a follow up showing her adjustment to the pampered life afterwards. You think Paris on a farm was funny? Imagine her combing her blonde tresses in a mirror made of polished metal after a steady diet of chicken!

Paris Hilton in prison = Ratings GOLD

Third reason: Reviving Her Film Career.

Paris can star in a 21st Century version of 'Black Mama, White Mama' with Lil' Kim: Shower scenes, cat fights, bondage: Exploitation at its finest. And if she can't get a studio to back her, she'll do a scaled down porn version.

Paris Hilton, by hook or by crook, will bastardize her prison time.

And you will watch it.

So, don't cry for Paris Hilton.

Cry for Michelle Rodriguez and Cynthia Watros.


They were busted for drunk driving. Michelle Rodriguez violated her probation with the arrest. And what did they get in return? They were kicked off 'LOST'.

They could've come up with a plan to exploit the controversy...if they were as smart and calculating as Paris Hilton.


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What do you think is Paris Hilton's plan? Will it work? Any other prison remakes you think she'll do? And how would you cast it?