Paris Hilton: Eating For Your Benefit

People reports that at last night's MTV Movie Awards, Paris Hilton made a beeline for the buffet table, not pausing to greet fellow guests before sampling everything from mini egg salad sandwiches to caprese salad on toast and carrots.

Paris Hilton should have nothing to feel guilty about. Since Public Service Announcements are all the rage for celebrities nowadays, Paris can turn her public feasting into a positive.

Paris can have a Public Service Announcement of the TOFI variety, to warn about the absolute devastation breaking the law can have on one's perfectly starved figure:

Imagine Paris strutting down a paparazzi lined red carpet...to a buffet table filled with various fatty food items. She gorges herself while the paparazzi takes loads of shots. Fellow celebrities fail to contain their unmitigated horror: "For the love of all that's thin and holy, someone stop her!". But their cries are drowned out by Paris Hilton's frenzied feasting. After devouring everything in sight, including her pet poodle, she wails: "I USED TA BE SOMEBODY!"

And she'd have the mugshots to prove it: