Adebisi LIVES...in Akon

My brother called me last year and was tripping:

"Adebisi is a singer!"

For the uninitiated, Simon Adebisi was hands down, the BADDEST dude on tv...EVER. On the HBO series OZ, Adebisi decapitated dudes, turned hetero guys into his personal sex slaves, turned the prison into his personal paradise, and had the nerve to videotape all his exploits.

I knew he meant the ACTOR who portrayed Adebisi, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje. And although he was in Mary J. Blige's "Love No Limit", he was too busy being Mr. Eko on "Lost" to have a professional singing career.

After talking to my bro for awhile, I found out he confused Adewale for Akon. I can see how one could confuse Akon and Adewale in passing. Anyhoo, after doing a little research, I found out, like everybody else, that Akon had a criminal record, like Adebisi. Like Adebisi, he sold drugs. Little did I know that Akon would "handle" things much like Adebisi would.

He conned a girl on stage in Trinidad with promises of a trip to Africa. What did she get? A dry humping. Akon was conned himself: He thought security didn't let anyone under 18 in the club. She was 14. . Verizon didn't care. They dropped their sponsorship of his tour.

Months later, during a concert in Fishkill, Akon was opening his heart about how hard it was to adjust to living in the U.S. Akon shared his feelings of alienation as an African in America. What did he get in return? Some punk ass kid who threw a piece of plastic square in Akon's face.

Akon's response? He had security bring the kid to him. When the kid was brought on stage, Akon picked the kid up and tossed the kid off the stage with an Ultimate Warrior Gorilla-Press Slam.

You can see it for yourself here.





On OZ, Adebisi's character was killed off, so Adewale could film that great masterpiece "The Mummy Returns". Adebisi's "murderer" on the show, pacifist Kareem Said, claimed to be possessed by the spirit of Adebisi. After engaging in a number of uncharacteristic actions, Said proclaimed:

"Adebisi lives!"

Years after OZ was canceled, I knew Adebisi would resurface. Little did I know it would be in the form of an R&B crooner with cheesy ass songs.

Eh, I'll take whatever Adebisi I can get.

Kareem Said was right:

ADEBISI LIVES!!!