May 4, 2007

The Hoff Needs KITT, Now More Than Ever



Just when you thought we'd see the end of Celebrity Dad Horror stories, David Hasselhoff, AKA "The Hoff", got his shirtless, cheeseburger-eating, drunk-ass caught on video by his daughter. She warns him that if he gets liquored up, he'll get busted by his doctor and won't be able to play cross dressing stage director Roger DeBris in the 'Producers'.

Again, I ask you, is Alec Baldwin really THAT bad?

KITT would have never allowed this kind of behavior. If you don't remember, in Knight Rider, the Hoff was kept in check by KITT, his talking car. KITT could simulate sounds like a police raid to fool criminals or a wild animal's growl, to scare away animals intending to pee on his tires. KITT could also speak fluently in French, Spanish, and other English dialects, like a New Yawk accent.

If KITT were around today, he could have taken on the role of a drug counselor, career coach, or therapist, thereby saving the Hoff and his family from shame.

But, the Hoff, in his infinite wisdom was more interested in recording a rap record with Ice T, than keeping his trusty friend and adviser.

And that's a damn shame.

As for the underlying controversy, things have definitely changed since I was a kid.

When I was in 5th grade, a classmate caught her parents "in the act".

In 6th grade, my best friend's mother wrote a cartoon character on his leg, after she spent a drunken night out on the town.

In both cases, kids didn't know whether to believe it or not.

Most thought they were full of it.

Now we have digital cameras and YouTube.

Parents, you have been warned.
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Think that's all? Banality Fair reports that Washington Wizard Gilbert Arenas wanted to show that the NBA has bad daddy skillz too. What a way to count down to Father's Day!

1 comment:

Joseph K said...

That video might be the most disturbing thing I have seen since Hasselhoff's "Hooked on a Feeling" video

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