Lindsay Lohan Is Turning Into Gollum

Lindsay Lohan, originator of the pantyless car exit, crashed her Mercedes in to a tree after a night of hard partying early Saturday morning and fled the scene. She was booked Saturday night on suspicion of driving under the influence (D.U.I.) Saturday night. What do investigators think she was influenced by? Cocaine found in her vehicle.

Contrary to popular speculation, her crazed behavior has nothing to do with Paris envy, bad parenting, or cocaine abuse. Lindsay Lohan is suffering from something far greater.

Take a look at her expression:
Does it look familiar? It should...
Lindsay Lohan's ridiculous behavior can be attributed to the fact that she's fiending for the Oscar, much like Gollum was fiending for the One Ring in Lord of the Rings.

And that fiending threatens her body, mind, and soul.

An article recently observed that you get "to be an Oscar-nominated actor" with "a little torture to the soul. It evidently worked for Joaquin Phoenix."

After a studio head went public with his frustration over Lindsay Lohan's partying ways during the filming of Georgia Rule, she probably freaked out when a reviewer compared it to Gigli, which effectively ended Ben Affleck's career and J.Lo hasn't fully recovered from:

Primarily, though, it's because Lohan's well-documented off-camera antics are such a distraction, as Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck's were, it's impossible to become engrossed in the film.

Lohan, confused by the negative press, probably took the assessment of Phoenix's Oscar fuel to heart: "Joaquin has great internal conflict on screen. He radiates torture, which is great, because what you want from actors is danger".

And who is stopping her?

Her Daddy Dearest wants her and her mother in rehab. Unless they can treat Oscar Fever, it would be pointless. She was already in rehab and it didn't work.

If someone helped Smeagol, he would have never turned into Gollum.

Someone needs to help Lindsay before she completes her turn.