In Search of the Magical Hood

Jaslene Gonzalez won America's Next Top Model and proclaimed:

"I'm the Latin spice here. I'm not your girl next door but I'm your girl down the block in your hood."

Ain't nobody in my hood, current and past hoods included, look like that.

This, along with J.Lo's assertion that she's just your average girl from the hood has me perplexed.

We got LaKishas. We got women who look like Selena's killer, and, if the neighborhood is getting gentrified, Rosie O'Donnell, but TOFI superstars like Jaslene and J.Lo? Hell to the no! (a primer on TOFIs can be found here)

You're more likely to find a guy dressed in a bee outfit like Jerry Seinfeld at Cannes.


Where is this magical hood, filled with popstars and models?

The closest I can think of is Paradise Island AKA Themyscira, where Wonder Woman lives.
It's filled with honeys.

Amazon honeys.

The only catch? Man can't step foot on it.

A friend of mine, back in the day, thought Paradise Island was in Los Angeles:

"It's like all of the best looking girls from every American high school moved there. For real. I went to school in Iowa. When I visited LA last week? I saw her. She moved there a year ago!"

George Costanza found a 'forbidden city' just like Paradise Island, when he used a photo of Jerry's 'man hands' amazon. He had access until he lost the picture and got kicked out. When he returned, the city vanished.

Maybe the magical hood, like George's forbidden city and Wonder Woman's Paradise Island, exists, but we just don't have the appropriate ghetto pass.

No wonder some rappers say they'll never leave the projects.

Maybe the 'projects' they're referencing is actually the magical hood.

Can you blame them for staying?
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Have you been to the magical hood? Why are Black and Latina TOFIs so quick to claim the hood, while White TOFIs rarely claim the trailer park?