I'm Spider-Man, B*tch!

For the past three weeks, Hollywood lost they mind:

Take a moment to appreciate the specialness of this Monday morning, where Shia LaBeouf is currently the biggest movie star in America.

He's one of the fastest-rising stars in Hollywood, and if you needed any more proof that Shia LaBeouf's time is now, look no further than his top-five box-office openings.

LaBeouf's movie 'Disturbia' grossed $52.1 million in 17 days. It was also announced that he'll star in the next Indiana Jones.

Hollywood went crazy for their new star.

Shia LaBeouf, destroyer of Bruce Willis.
Shia LaBeouf, conqueror of Quentin Tarantino.
Shia LaBeouf, buggerer of Will Ferrell.

Then, along came a spider.

Spider-Man 3 made more in one day than alleged Box Office honcho Shia LeBouf made in 3 weeks. Like Chris Rock said, there are a lot of great actors, but few real stars.

Shia LaBeouf, star?

Spider-Man is a star. Too busy thinking about the ladies to care about Shia LaBeouf.

You could see this coming a mile away. Youngins playing with the Big Boys. It's like folks wondering if USC could beat the Raiders when they couldn't even beat Vince Young.

It's like they wanted to set Shia up for failure. He had a #1 movie against weak competition. Kudos for him. But he went up against a true beast...and got whupped.

Let's hope he doesn't try something drastic, like trying to get buzz by getting bitten by a spider. Some kid in Oregon had two spiders nesting in his ear, and all he got was rice crispies sounds and an article...with no photo.

Since Sony Pictures has announced at least another three Spider-Man flicks, maybe Shia will be able to do some damage when Spider-Man 6 rolls around?


Perhaps if Tobey Maguire stays true to his word and Spider-Man 3 is last appearance, Shia has a chance.

He could play Spider-Man. Then he'd have his revenge...